Political Sushi!

By John W. Lillpop

In the latest example of incomprehensible mindlessness coming from south of the U.S. border, politicians in third-world Mexico are “angry” because of conditions imposed by the United States as part of the Merida handout.

Merida is the latest rip-off proposed by Mexican mole George W. Bush and his pals in Congress. It would cause $1.4 billion dollars of hard-earned taxpayer loot to be deported to Mexico.

LATIMES: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-merida5-2008jun05,0,5969683.story

The purpose of Merida? Allegedly, to help bolster crime fighting by the Mexican government and, ultimately, to keep that nation’s drug traffic out of America.

In other words, America would pay Mexican authorities $1.4 billion to enforce the law, and keep their dangerous and illegal drugs on their side of the border.

However, Mexican “pride” has caused some officials to balk at that $1.4 billion because of a contingency that would require Mexico to improve its deplorable human rights record.

That is analogous to a hobo- beggar refusing to accept a $100 bill if forced to take a much-needed shower!

To keep this issue in proper perspective, please remember that Mexico’s human rights record ranks among the worse in the world.

For example, in March of 2008, the United Nations reported that Central American migrants traveling through Mexico to the United States face violence and abuse by Mexican authorities.

Jorge Bustamante, the U.N.’s Special Rapporteur on the human rights of migrants, said that there are “reports of rampant impunity for instances of corruption, including bribery and extortion, violence against women, and trafficking in children…[and] that the impunity seems to be linked to abuses of power at the municipal, state and federal levels.”

UPSIDEDOWN: http://upsidedownworld.org/main/content/view/1192/79/

Corruption, bribery, extortion, violence against women, and trafficking in children by Mexican authorities?

And for those minor indiscretions, the United States has the audacity to interfere in Mexico’s internal affairs before sending loco locals $1.4 billion?

Outrageous!

Even more outrageous: Despite its own sub-human human rights record, Mexican leaders from Felipe Calderon, on down, are goofy enough to complain and whine non-stop that illegal aliens from Mexico are being mistreated in America!

That charge is profoundly idiotic given that illiterate peasants from Mexico continue to come to America by the millions!

If life here is so unbearable for Mexicans, why have upwards of 38 million illegal aliens risked life and limb just to invade America?

And why do they continue to stay, despite being unwelcome parasites?

Perhaps American officials should engage in “Corruption, bribery, extortion, violence against women, and trafficking in children.” as a means for discouraging illegal aliens from coming here, and for causing those already here to migrate back to Mexico?

Finally, an appropriate word of counsel to daft Mexican officials: Beggars cannot be Choosers!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Are we “verily, verily” in the last days?

Judgment day, Armageddon, and the Apocalypse rolled into one awful day of human agony and misery?

One of the Biblical signs that the last days are nigh is earthquakes and rumors of earthquakes. Other dooms day precursors include famine, increased storm activity, war, and $4 a gallon gasoline!

Earthquakes are now happening with such regularity in Reno, Nevada that some gamblers have actually repented–by moving to Las Vegas! Quakes are also breaking out all over California with scientists now forecasting a near 100% probability of a major shaker in the next 30 years.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Science/2008/05/01/reno_scientists_warn_of_further_quake_risk/4407/

The world food shortage, highlighted by problems with rice, has been well documented and sounds like the makings of a full-scale famine.

In terms of storm activity, hurricane Katrina and the scores of tornadoes raving the Midwest and southeast seem to fulfill Bible prophecy concerning weather.

Add to this mix of dreary warnings the global warming crisis, a woman in charge of the U.S. House and another running for the White House, and the ascension of the anti-Christ (Barack Obama) and you have one awful summer staring back at you.

What can one do to ward off the end, for at least one more summer?

Start by barbecuing those luscious steaks inside with all the windows closed. This will cut global warming by 50% by July 5, provided that Al Gore cooperates by grilling his New York steaks inside the servant’s quarters instead of on his three acre front lawn!

Better still, big Al, give up meat altogether and switch to Soy burgers. That will really help because PETA types will have no need to drive out to your mansion to protest your heathen lust for dead animal meat; thereby saving all those noxious fumes emitted by vans and Lexus SUVs driven by PETA types.

Next, volunteer to block Nancy Pelosi from being reelected to any office higher than village idiot of San Francisco, a position for which there will be fierce competition from many, many local liberals.

Then work to pass immediate legislation that would mandate that any candidate for the presidency must pass an IQ test which, at a minimum, requires proven ability to comprehend and operate an ordinary coffee machine accessible to the unwashed public.

That will send Hillary back to New York with her haughty law degree flopping in the wind!

Next, vow to never vote for a candidate whose middle name is Hussein and whose “Christian” pastor makes Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sound reasonable and Pro-American by comparison!

With that vow in place, Barack Obama will be free to return to the U.S. Senate in order to misrepresent the great state of Illinois, or to study suicide bombing in Pakistan, whichever he is ordered to do by Jeremiah Wright.

Last, but not least, in order to quell the quakes, storms, and famines and put the anti-Christ out of business for at least a season, vote for Dr. Chuck Baldwin to be the next president of these United States.

Chuck is a Bible scholar, an ordained pastor, and a real conservative who was among the first to know for sure that GW Bush is NOT the anti-Christ.

Dr. Baldwin is familiar enough with Revelations and other scripture to know that the anti-Christ is described as intelligent, cunning, and silver tongued–now, honestly, does that sound like George W. Bush to you?

Visit Baldwin’s web site: http://www.chuckbaldwinlive.com/

By John W. Lillpop

Perhaps it is naive to expect much in the way of moral leadership from an institution that coddles sexual perverts (masquerading as “Holy Fathers”)
who use their presumed holiness to deceive and sexually manipulate thousands of unsuspecting children, while professing to act in the name of God.

How much respect is owed an institution that has spent billions of dollars to settle law suits brought by innocent children against said “Holy Fathers”?

With all due respect to Pope Benedict, the Catholic Church is no longer respected as a source for moral inspiration in America.

The following words from the Gospel of Luke seem to apply.

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

To be perfectly candid, the fruit of the Catholic church these days is rotten. As in figs and thistles.

Which means that the pope’s rhetoric on illegal immigration is irrelevant at best, and, at worst, is self-serving drivel intended to shore up sagging membership in the Catholic church.

Papal “infallibility” and or “inerrancy” is obviously a myth when one considers the following:

Rather than blaming Americans for resisting the invasion of our great nation, Pope Benedict should be providing moral and spiritual leadership by calling on illegal aliens and the Mexican government to respect the borders, laws, property and culture of the United States.

Rather than chiding U.S. authorities for enforcing the rule of law, the pope should demand that illegal aliens voluntarily return to their nations of origin and follow established procedures for legal immigration to America.

Rather than calling for open-ended compassion for those here unlawfully, the pope should remind illegal aliens that receiving public services such as education, food stamps, and health care to which they are not entitled is stealing. Stealing is a sin.

Rather than lecturing law-abiding Americans about opening their wallets and hearts to illegal aliens, the Pope should condemn document fraud and ID theft, crimes used extensively by illegals to secure employment and public services. Such practices are bearing false witness, and are sins.

Illegal immigration is like robbing a bank. It involves disregard for the law and wanton thievery of goods and services belonging to, or intended for, others.

Illegal immigration is wrong, and should be condemned and most emphatically by the leader of the church allegedly bequeathed to the faithful by Jesus Christ.

The Pope’s position on illegal aliens is immoral! At least with respect to illegal aliens, that means that Papal infallibility is a crock!

By John W. Lillpop

Mexican President Felipe Calderon is haunting the United States this week, and like his equally demented predecessor, Calderon is lecturing Americans about how illegal aliens from his nation-sewer are being mistreated.

Like Fox, Calderon argues that Americans should be grateful to have 38 million, mostly Mexican, illiterate peasants dumped in our laps, for U.S. taxpayers to educate, feed, house, and provide medical care for.

At only $100 billion a year, it’s quite a bargain, right Felipe?

Calderon is also taking a page from the Fox Playbook by declaring that American resistance to the invasion from south of our borders is an obvious case of racism!

What both Fox and Calderon conveniently forget to note is that the illegal aliens coming here are doing so on their own–no one is forcing these third-world free loaders and scam artists to invade America!

Except, perhaps, the corrupt Mexican government!

Avoiding mistreatment of Mexican citizens in America is really quite simple,President Calderon.

Stop them from coming here to begin with and take back the 38 million already here!

Repeat: Keep your damn garbage in Mexico and it will not be treated like garbage in America!

America does not need or want your castoffs and losers!

Felipe Calderon, Vicente Fox, and all of the other corrupt thugs in the Mexican government must be forced to accept the following essential truths about America:

* In 1848, The Treaty of Guadeloupe Hidalgo was ratified by both the U.S. and Mexican Congresses. That Treaty ended any and all claims Mexico had to land now a part of the United States.

* Native American Indians were the original owners of the American southwest. Were there were any valid property rights claims concerning that land, such rights would belong to Native American Indians, not Mexicans.

* America is a sovereign nation, totally independent of Mexico. It has been that way for over 200 years. We intend to keep it that way.

* In America, Mexico is considered a foreign nation and Spanish is a foreign language.

* America operates according to the rule of law which applies to everyone. This is true whether one is brown, black, yellow, lily-white, red, or an exotic hybrid of lavender and green.

* Being hard-working and good hearted is commendable. But those qualities do NOT entitle anyone to enter America illegally.

* Bilingualism is cool–provided one of the languages is English. Literacy in only Mexican and Spanish es no bueno in America.

* Celebrating ones cultural heritage is perfectly fine–as long as it does not interfere with prompt and complete assimilation into American culture.

* Driving while loaded or drunk may be “macho” in Mexico. But in America, driving under the influence is considered stupid and criminal and is not tolerated, regardless of ones country of origin or cultural heritage.

* People here illegally are criminals, and as such, are most unwelcome. American citizens will fight to have such miscreants deported, regardless of whether or not families are involved. Illegal is illegal, family or not.

* Demanding that our borders be secured and that the law be enforced is the right of all American citizens and doing so does not make any one a racist or bigot.

* U.S. immigration laws exist to protect American citizens and others that are here legally, not to facilitate a foreigner’s pursuit of a better life.

* Those who come to America must adjust to our culture and traditions. We have no obligation or desire to change in deference to foreign newcomers,and

* Brown may be beautiful in Mexico. But in America, we are partial to colors that symbolize freedom under the rule of law. That would be Red, White and Blue.

Take note of this list Messrs. Calderon and Fox. Share it with other Mexicans considering an invasion north.

Passing it on may cause them to reconsider, and that would be a good thing!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Recognizing when one’s mind has become infested with liberalism, and knowing the full extent of that devastating news, is vital information that one should have in order to navigate life’s many dangerous obstacles and roadblocks.

The simple, yet scientific, test that follows has been programmed to evaluate one’s “liberal quotient,” which is the exact opposite of intelligence quotient, and usually portends serious mental and moral defects.

The test:

1. Abortion

A. The privacy provision in the U.S. Constitution that guarantees women the right to an abortion was authored by:

( ) Roe V. Wade, one of the original founding fathers.
( ) Sandra Day O’Connor, a nice lady in many ways, but over her head when it comes to the law.
( ) Paid lobbyists for Planned Parenthood and Code Pink

B. Abortions should be:

( ) Mandatory for all unmarried women.
( ) Included in universal health care coverage paid for by the government.
( ) Funded by eliminating the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy.

2. Global War on Terror

A. The war on terror is:

( ) Being fought everywhere in the world, except Iraq.
( ) Lost: The terrorists have won and America should surrender immediately.
( ) Proof that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are much smarter than George W. Bush.

B. Domestic Surveillance

President Bush has personally listened to calls made and received by Democrats and moderate Republicans. This type of domestic spying is OK as long as the president does not use racial profiling in deciding which calls to spy on.

( ) True ( ) False

3. Taxes

Sky High taxes:

( ) Stimulate economic growth and create millions of secure, high paying jobs.
( ) Are needed to keep overachievers from becoming too independent.

( ) Should be paid by any family with an annual income in excess of $7,450.

4. Energy and Dependence on Foreign Oil

A. Drilling for new oil reserves in America is:

( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution.
( ) Sure to irritate Muslim leaders whom Bush should be working with, rather than against.
( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed.

B. Additional refining capacity would:

( ) Increase demand, thereby causing more global warming.
( ) Be the moral equivalent of the Holocaust.
( ) Be OK in blue states if built by brown illegal aliens.

C. The best option for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:

( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is.
( ) Raise gasoline taxes $5.50 per gallon to reduce demand.
( ) Cut off supplies to Red states.
( ) Ignore it–higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers even lower.

5. Illegal immigration

A. Illegal immigration is:

( ) Needed by liberals in order to win elections.
( ) A misnomer. They are actually undocumented Democrats!
( ) Mexico’s chief export.

B. Border security should be:

( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce.
( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce and more Democrats.
( ) Used to keep Republicans out of the United States.

C. The fence between the United States and Mexico is:

( ) Unconstitutional. It discriminates against Mexicans too fat to scale a fence.
( ) A good idea if it will stop the Minutemen from invading Mexico.

D. Bush’s proposed immigration reform scheme:

( ) Will work if guest workers are required to join a labor union.
( ) Should be approved by Mexico before being sent to Congress
( ) Sounds like amnesty, but Mexicans here illegally deserve amnesty!

E. Janet Napolitano, Democrat governor of Arizona:

( ) Thinks ”Minutemen” is a reference to the sexual staying power of Border Patrol agents.
( ) Was for Illegal Immigration before she was against it.
( ) Was a “stealth” candidate in Mexico’s presidential election in 2007

6. Using Liberalism to Understand Islam

A. Ramadan:

( ) Is a scared Muslim ritual that has been commercialized into a national hotel chain—Ramada Inn—by greedy American capitalists.
( ) Is not covered by constitutional separation of church and state, because the founding fathers were all Christian Caucasians.

B. The Koran:

( ) Specifically identifies George W. Bush as the anti-Allah.
( ) Names Barack Obama as the candidate most committed to change.
( ) Is needed to counter Judeo-Christian propaganda found in the Bible.

C. Mosques:

( ) Are holy sanctuaries, except when used to plot nuclear attacks against Israel.
( ) Are never used to hide weapons, except during time of war. Because of infidels, Islam has always been, and will always be, at war.

D. The practice of rewarding martyrs with 72 virgins:

( ) Makes far more sense that the Christian myth about a virgin giving birth to a Jew come to save the world.
( ) Assures that Allah will always have a large contingent of dedicated, virile young men eager to give their very lives for the righteous cause of Islam.
( ) Proves that Christians who promote abstinence are extremists who do not understand spirituality in this life nor the one to follow!

( ) Will never work in the illegal alien community: Where would God/and or Allah find 72 Mexican virgins?

Congratulations! You have successfully completed this objective assessment of your vulnerability as a practicing liberal.

Because we understand that self-esteem and confidence are very fragile commodities to liberals, we provide neither answers nor grades to this test. This is essential to protect those who may have performed poorly.

But rest assured that you did GREAT– like everyone else, regardless of sex, nationality, race, language, sexual preference, age, blah, blah, blah!

By John W. Lillpop

Former president Bill Clinton fancies himself to be America’s First Black President and promotes that notion whenever the opportunity arises.

The idea is to sell Clinton as that rare breed of Caucasian who understands and empathizes with African-Americans as if he were black himself.

It has also been a cynical ploy to keep black voters as the exclusive domain of the Democrat party, and, more specifically, the private property of the Clinton family.

But in his recent attempt to stifle Barack Obama, Bill Clinton demonstrated precious little understanding of or empathy for black people when he termed Obama’s campaign a “fairy tale.”

That remark, loaded with subtle racism, was meant to remind African-Americans of their “proper place” in American society. Roughly translated, it means, “The idea that a person with black genes could be elected U.S. president is a fairy tale.”

In effect, Bill Clinton was declaring himself to be the only “black” who could actually be considered presidential timber.

Or an even more sinister rendering: “Black candidates, especially those with Muslim names, are unelectable, regardless of how clean and articulate.”

At which point, desperate blacks would be referred to the candidacy of Hillary as the only viable hope for African-Americans.

All of which begs the question: Which is the greater fairy tale–Bill Clinton’s blackness, or Barack Obama’s “Audacity of Hope”?

By John W. Lillpop

Hillary Rodham Clinton was supposed to be dead this morning, figuratively speaking that is. According to nearly all political wizards, Hillary was destined to be stabbed in the heart by a clean and articulate black man in the hinterlands of New Hampshire.

Her premature demise was supposed to take place on Tuesday, starting at 12:01 AM EST and continuing until the very last breathe was driven from her soulless campaign when the polls closed in the evening.

Barack Obama was the presumed assailant, sans the dagger. He was to be the heir apparent to the “Throne of Inevitability,” after Hillary’s remains had been whisked away from the national spotlight, and sent to wherever it is that political witches are interred.

There were to be no eulogies or expressions of sadness at the passing of the Hillary for President campaign. Rather, this was to be an occasion for raucous celebration and joy throughout the 50 states, and in most foreign world capitols, saving only the most communist of the lot.

After all, the American people had strayed perilously close to progressive fascism during an ill advised dalliance with Hillary; her demise was a welcome return to the principles that America was founded upon and which made this the greatest nation in human history.

But then a funny thing happened: On the way to the final resting place for the over-60 Hillary and her merry band of Clintonistas, divine intervention intervened and smite the young black man.

Even his omnipresent cleanliness and articulation skills were not enough to save Barack Obama on this balmy election day in the Granite State.

Hillary Rodham Clinton pulled out a comeback win reminiscent of the miracles turned by Slick Willie in 1992.

Down by double digits in polls just a day earlier, Hillary was able to parlay a flood of tears and sobs into a stunning upset victory over the inexperienced, but clean and articulate, senator from Illinois.

Pundits were thus sent scrambling for answers to this post-Christmas miracle. Was this perhaps a war between the Christian deity and Allah, with Allah coming up short in his advocacy for the brother Muslim, named Obama?

As it turns out, the answer was much simpler and mundane: An autopsy of the Hillary for President campaign reveals that there was no heart there!

Thus there was no way that Hillary could have been stabbed to death by a young and inexperienced black man, regardless of how clean and articulate.

Regrettably, Hillary remains a formidable threat to the freedoms and liberties cherished by most Americans.

By John W. Lillpop

When deciding whether or not to vote for Hillary Clinton next November, one should be mindful of how Christmas might change with a socialist, feminist, Mexi-nazi in the White House.

Such changes might include the following:

* Affirmative action would be required at the North Pole, including quotas for hiring black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay and lesbian, transexual, and handicapped elves.

* There would be a zero tolerance policy for hiring straight, Caucasian, Christian applicants, although there would be active “outreach programs” for illegal aliens accused of DUIs and ax-savvy Jihadists.

* An Elves’ “Bill of Rights” would mandate minimum wage and free health insurance for Elves with at least 90 days of continuos service and current in payment of their monthly Elves Union dues.

* Santa would be prohibited from requiring elves to speak English while on the job. All gifts left for illegal aliens would include a hand-written note from Santa, in Spanish.

* To demonstrate the dangers of global warming, Santa would be required to make his global journey in the nude, excepting his stocking cap which he could relocate to his lap in case of an unexpected, and at his age unlikely, emergency.

* In the interest of animal rights, environmentalism, and pandering to Hispanic voters, Santa’s reindeer would be replaced by illegal aliens using Hillary-copters left over from the Iowa campaign to pull Santa’s sleigh across the night sky.

* The jolly old bird would be required to submit an Equitable Distribution Plan to demonstrate how he would pinch expensive gifts from “rich” families and deposit same to the poor, near poor, and other struggling constituencies of the Democrat party.

* Registered Republicans and families earning more than $200,000 would automatically be designated as “naughty” for tax purposes, and to help Santa plan his Christmas Eve gig.

* Santa would be required to take possession of all cookies and other sugary treats left out for him, and to leave a Thank You note advising the child giver of the health hazards of hi-fat, hi-cab, hi-taste junk foods.

* On the way back to the North Pole, Santa would unload all those confiscated goodies at DNC headquarters in Washington, D.C., from where they would be auctioned during a PBS broadcast of “Exposing Christmas As a Pagan Rip Off and Christian Cash Cow,” with proceeds going directly to the “Re-elect Hillary in 2012″ fund.

Let the forewarned be wary of the aforementioned: With Hillary Clinton as president, Christmas would cease to exist!

posted by John W Lillpop | 10:20 AM

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Satire By John W. Lillpop

As we Americans struggle to preserve our rich cultural traditions surrounding Christmas, there are times when the struggle seems too hard, the load too heavy.

For example, one wonders if it is worth it upon hearing that another whacked-out liberal judge has determined that the nativity scene is unconstitutional.

Not just insensitive to non-Christians, mind you, but unconstitutional for heaven’s sake!

Not so many years ago, the word unconstitutional was reserved for major injustices that really harmed people. Heinous acts like slavery or racial discrimination for example.

But times have changed.

Last year, we heard of a rabbi in Washington state who threatened to sue because of fifteen Christmas trees enjoyed by the overwhelming majority of the public at the Seattle airport. “Treeless in Seattle,” was apparently this rabbi’s passion.

But why would an alleged “man of faith” act to deny so many people the pleasure of seeing a simple, unobtrusive symbol just because the symbol did not immediately conjure up images of his particular faith?

How does one confront such narrow-minded, selfish, mean spirited thinking without going barking mad?

One way is to fantasize what the first Christmas might have been like if liberals and the ACLU had been in charge the night Jesus was born.

The Christmas story might have included nuttiness such as this:

Upon entering Bethlehem, Mary and Joseph would have been stopped by activists from Planned Parenthood. The unmarried couple would have been reminded of the growing problem with overpopulation, including demands on finite resources and added pollution.

Mary would have been encouraged to abort the unborn fetus, and Planned Parenthood would have offered to pay for the procedure with tax money stolen from the Romans.

Meanwhile, a corrupt liberal judge (aren’t they all?) in Nazareth would have issued a restraining order to prevent the three wise men from entering the city where the Savior was born.

Citing the lack of any women, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, gays, transsexuals, Jihadists, or blind and handicapped Buddhists among the three wise acres, the judge would have given the trio twelve hours to submit an acceptable affirmative action plan, or be forced to leave the Holy land.

All mirth, gold and other gifts brought by the trio would have been impounded and stored in a local “Babies R Us” retail outlet, pending final disposition by the court.

That same judge would have also ordered Mary to submit to a full gynecological examination by a licensed physician to determine the veracity of her claim to be a virgin.

The judge would have ruled that this was essential to maintain the probative integrity of Nazareth’s birth and death records, and to establish a basis for royalty payments owed Nazareth when the Jesus story was added to the Holy Bible.

ACLU Lawyers in Bethlehem would have sued the innkeeper who turned Mary and Joseph away. The suit would allege that there was, in fact, plenty of room at the inn, but that Mary was discriminated against solely because she was an unmarried, pregnant, middle-eastern woman of color who spoke perfect Yiddish, but not a word of Italian or French.

Even back then, being bilingual was seen as a mark of sophistication and economic stability by liberal nut cases.

Joseph would have been required to pay a special “Ass Transit Fee”—not a tax, mind you—owing to the fact that the donkey carrying the blessed Mary was not properly licensed in Bethlehem. The local tax collector was known in the underground as the “Ass Taxer,” a term that still applies to most American Democrats.

Joseph and Mary would have been forced to leave Bethlehem earlier than originally planned, because a local bureaucrat named Goreish had determined that their donkey was releasing unhealthy levels of toxic gases, indelicately called “farts” in our enlightened times.

Such emissions were thought to be a major factor in clinical depressions, and were also implicated in a phenomenon called “Global Cooling,” which Goreish insisted would destroy the planet by the year 0010 unless immediate action were taken.

Goreish was so convinced of his science that he mass produced a scroll manuscript modestly titled, “Ten Inconvenient Truths about Global Cooling,” which were sold on street corners for thirty pieces of silver, with tips gladly accepted.

Sadly, Goreish died penniless and humiliated in 0100 while trying to promote yet another doomsday rip off called “Global Warming.” The animal rights activist presiding over the funeral for Goreish called him a huge and noble force for peace.

Because of scribing and typographical errors repeated over the course of 2,000 years, “noble force for peace” has become “Nobel Peace,” an award recently accepted by the latest rip-off artist in the Goreish family tree.

Finally, a band of homeless Islamofascist gypsies would have been arrested for conspiring to destroy the Baby Jesus by placing a Muslim baby with a treatable, but contagious, disease into the manger immediately next to that of Jesus. This was the first recorded instance of Muslims using children on suicide missions to kill innocent Jews.

Of course, the arrested Islamofascists eventually sued for discrimination based on religious intolerance. And won!

Praise be to God that liberalism and the ACLU did not exist in their present form on Christmas Eve, 0000!

By John W. Lillpop

Lord knows I am no flame-throwing anarchist who stumbles about saying and doing things only to irritate good people. That is not my modus operandi, regardless of what creditors and my ex-wife may be charging.

Nonetheless, it seems fitting at this time of year to “Cast My Fate to the Wind,” and to speak unabashed about that which I believe, without undue regard to political correctness.

As they used to say “Let it All Hang Out!”

Thus, and therefore, acting against the counsel of my lawyer and psychiatric team, I hereby plunge headfirst into the world of defiance and wicked decadence.

I do so by exclaiming the following greeting from the top of my keyboard:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And, no, I did NOT forget Kwanzaa, Hanukah, or Ramadan.

And I most assuredly did NOT mean Happy Holidays, that neutered, politically correct double talk that has gained favor with so many ACLU-bullied wussies.

And to be perfectly frank, in my view “Feliz Navidad” is the language of illegal aliens and, as such, unacceptable as an American greeting!

I said exactly what I meant, without apologies or hesitation. I said it, and already I hear the manic screams of sirens outside my padded cell.

What to do?

The only thing a sane person would do. Repeat the “sounding joy” and again say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And so it is.