Satire By John W. Lillpop

Of all the bloody cheek!

No longer content with just ramming airplanes into skyscrapers, devotees of the “Religion of Peace” have raised the terror bar another couple of notches.

Now these neurotic stowaways from the 7th century have flexed their financial muscle by threatening to boycott Northwest Airlines. It seems as though agents at Northwest had the audacity to demand that Muslim travelers follow international and airline rules by checking in least one hour before scheduled departure time.

It had something to do with security, 9/11, terrorism threats, etc. Nothing that would concern any card-holding Jihadist, right?

In any event, travelers returning from a pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia, allegedly arrived just twenty minutes before departure, rather the required hour.

That is when Northwest Airlines personnel acted responsibly and refused to allow 40 of Allah’s best and brightest to board the plane.

Of course, lawyers from CAIR subsequently gathered to address the issue in the spirit of fairness, reasoned logic, and common sense.

When all of those approaches failed, CAIR resorted to their standard policy book and screamed Racism! blah, blah, blah. And they then threatened to boycott the company, meaning that Muslims would get even by not flying Northwest Airlines.

Excuse me, did I read that correctly? The Muslims threatened to stay away from Northwest Airlines?

Good grief, how lucky can any airline get?

Immediately after confirming this report, I checked the itinerary for my Hawaii vacation in May and dispatched the following letter to the San Francisco branch of CAIR:

Dear CAIR:

Knowing how racist and belligerent some airlines can be, I thought it my civic duty to inform you of a situation that is untenable for any ax-wielding Jihadist.

I refer to XXX Airlines, Flight XX, on May 15,2008 This flight is non-stop from San Francisco to Hana, Maui, and leaves at 730 am, PDT. Gate 2a, Terminal 3.

In addition, please make note of the return flight from Hana to San Francisco on May 31, 2008.

Both of these flights are to be avoided by Muslims at all costs. The pilots, stewardesses, security personal, bartenders, and Red Caps at these airports are all bigoted, anti-Islam racists. Some are even rumored to be closet Jews.

Please confirm receipt of this advisory and CAIR’s firm commitment to boycott the identified flights.

Praise be to Allah,

JWL
Infidel, Second Class

Hillary’s role model?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

As the national mud wrestling match being staged by the Democrat Party grinds on and on and on, I am startled to find myself in agreement with much of what Barack Obama has to say about Hillary.

For instance, I agree with Obama that Hillary is a:

Rich, elitist “bi***,” way out of touch with average Americans;

Weak-minded female who would be nothing without her marriage to a former president, perjurer, and sex addict;

Beer and whiskey guzzling Annie Oakley NOT;

Congenital liar who hates truth and light;

Phony hypocrite who relies on deceit and fraud to promote herself and her goals;

Inevitable president NOT!

On reflection, I am also aware of the fact that much of what Hillary says about Obama resonates with those of us who are fair and balanced.

Indeed, I agree with Hillary that Obama is a:

Rich, elitist “bas***,” who is out of touch with hard-working, church- going, bitter Americans in small Pennsylvania towns;

Player in the presidential sweepstakes only because he is black. Were he white, Obama would most likely be serving tables at Geraldine Ferraro fund raisers;

Closet Islamofacist who should denounce Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan and remove them from his inner circle of spiritual icons;

Phony hypocrite who relies on deceit and fraud to promote himself and his goals;

Man of substance–cocaine and crack being the substances of choice, right Obama?

Inexperienced, naive, and gullible politician who talks out of both sides of his mouth. Bottom line: Name one accomplishment!

After all is said and done, there is hardly a dime’s worth of difference between Obama and Clinton. And, judging from their own campaign rhetoric, neither is qualified to be president of these United States.

On that, we can agree!