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Archive for June, 2008
Satire By John W. Lillpop Whether or not one is a feminist has more to do with what is lodged between one’s ears than what is dangling, or not, between one’s legs. Kenneth J. Gross, author of “She Inc.,” a sort of perverted wish list for feminist fascists seeking to take over the globe via group Vagina channeling, is a perfect example. We understand that Gross is indeed a male feminist, a sell out to the darker side of humanity. The anti- Jetti in the war between the sexes, is he, to paraphrase Yoda. Mind you, Gross’s breezy little novel is entertaining and captivating, provided one hates the natural order of things, ergo, male superiority and dominance in all of life’s war zones. To chagrined feminists suffering from psychic abuse, real or imagined, at the hands of men, Gross weaves a fanciful tale which enables forlorn old maids, and young, unattractive ones, to escape reality through Pat Stenson and her five bosom buddies. Using their superior brains and fertile uteruses in a joint venture known as “She Inc.,” Stenson and friends work tirelessly and ruthlessly toward their goal of replacing male dominance with female fascism. Not a particularly noble calling, but for some women She Inc., is about as close as they will ever come to self-actualization and real power. Although Gross is not likely to win any awards for writing excellence, he does deserve some credit for being masterfully clairvoyant: The derailing of Hillary’s Oval Office scheme by a young black man with Muslim first, middle, and last names must have distressed Gross to no end; it could not have happened to a more deserving scalawag. As it turns out, the fruit reaped from the tree of Hillary was nothing but sour grapes. Still, Gross can celebrate in the knowledge that Hillary’s aborted presidential campaign will cause millions of distressed feminists to seek solace in chocolate, shopping, and fictional accounts of women with power. That being the case, it could be quite a boom year for Gross and She Inc. after all!
By John W. Lillpop Those who question the existence of rampant liberal hypocrisy need only consider two major issues of the day to be disabused of all such doubt. Consider please: Liberals oppose the right of Americans to keep and bear arms, and do so allegedly out of concern for human life and safety. However, those same liberals are bitter proponents of abortion, which is all about terminating human life. Consider further how the right to bear arms and abortion are reflected in law. With respect to arms, the second Amendment to the US Constitution reads: “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” By definition, gun control is an attempt by government to infringe on the right of the People to keep and bear arms. That makes gun control a violation of the Second Amendment, plain and simple. Unfortunately, liberal politicians and bureaucrats have snubbed their arrogant noses at the Bill of Rights by promulgating gun restrictions specifically prohibited by the Second Amendment. However, the Supreme Court ruling of June 26, 2008, overturned a leftist-inspired ban on firearms in Washington, D.C., thereby upholding the Constitutional right to bear arms. That victory for the People should be very helpful in thwarting future attempts by the left to violate a citizen’s right to bear arms, which is second only to free speech in the Bill of Rights. While liberals have fought tooth and nail against the Second Amendment, despite its clarity and non-ambiguous language, they have fought just as ferociously to enact a right that simply does not exist in the US Constitution. That would be the right to an abortion, more factually known as infanticide, the liberal version of human genocide that has resulted in the wanton murder of 50 million innocent lives in America since the Roe V. Wade death sentence was handed down in 1973. Unlike the provisions of the Second Amendment, the so-called right to abortion is not codified in any of the governing instruments that make our democracy sustainable under the rule of law. In many ways, abortion is similar to the unseemly manipulation of men and sperm by unethical, immoral women in Kenneth J. Gross’s intriguing book titled, “SHE, Inc.” In that frightening feminist fantasy, intellectually elite liberal women use science and medicine to assure that their offspring are only female, as part of a grand scheme to usurp abusive male dominance with even more onerous female fascism. Liberals like those in “SHE, Inc.” have fabricated a non-existent constitutional right out of whole cloth in order to sanctify the brutal extermination of human life deemed too costly, inconvenient, or both, by the women involved. Those who really care about human life must abandon attempts to neuter the constitutional right of the People to bear arms, and focus instead on the stealth right to abortion that has destroyed 50 million human lives since 1973.
Satire by John W. Lillpop As one who listens to major network “news” only when the only alternative is spending an afternoon strapped to a waterbaord, I am convinced that the FCC has a constitutional, legal, and spiritual obligation to protect the American people by including a health warning before and after every news broadcast. FCC-sanctioned news disclaimers should read something like this: “Conservatives are warned that listening to this broadcast may result in hypertension, hardening of the arteries, and other potentially lethal health conditions, particularly among those who are unduly insistent on unbiased and factual presentation of the news. “No adjustment to your radio is required.” That sort of disclaimer would have eased the distress of being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge recently, with no choice but to listen to the latest claptrap from the local affiliate of a major network. Network propaganda falsely bills this hourly recitation of Democrat Party talking points as “Here’s What’s Happening,” but a foul air alert would make more sense. On this day, the top news item was the possible discovery of water on Mars. Although the newscaster did not use these words, it was clear that he was frothing at the mouth to say, “NASA scientists are reporting tonight that water may have been found on Mars. When confirmed, this discovery will immediately debunk everything in Genesis and the rest of the Holy Bible. Film at 11!” With all due respect to so-called news professionals, even if there is, or was, water on Mars, so what? Unless Martian water will burn in a combustion engine and fuel a 757 jet from LA to New York City, who gives a tinker’s dam? Meanwhile, the media ignore the most urgent news of the young millennium: There is oil under the Golden Gate Bridge and all along and off the California coastline. In fact, there may even be enough “Black Gold” in California to end US reliance on oil from terrorist states, Russia, and Venezuela. The big question: With gasoline approaching $5 a gallon, why are there no derricks, drilling rigs, and other instruments of energy independence under the Golden Gate Bridge and on California’s pristine beaches, which are instead wasted on parties, fishing, and other unhealthy fads?
By John W. Lillpop Rebounding smartly from horrific rulings that protect terrorists at Gutamano Bay and child rapists here at home, the United States Supreme Court has redeemed itself, at least partially. By refusing to delay erection of the fence at the US-Mexico border and by upholding the Constitutional right of Americans to bear arms as set forth in the 2nd Amendment, the Court has restored a measure of confidence in their ability to act on behalf of the American people. Today’s ruling against unlawful gun meddling is particularly sweet and should be enormously helpful in thwarting liberals on gun control from this point forward. Affirmation of gun ownership as a basic American right also provides another fitting, final tribute to Charlton Heston and the noble cause that he championed. Heston, who passed away on April 5, would be greatly encouraged to know that attempts to pry weapons “from my cold, dead hands” were put to rest, with great finality, by the highest court in the land. Of course, there are some on the very far left who are unwilling, or unable, to accept the bitter pill that has been dealt their anti-Bill of Rights agenda when it come to guns. For example, Speaker Nancy Pelosi said the following after the ruling: “I think it still allows the District of Columbia to come forward with a law that’s less pervasive,” Pelosi said at her weekly briefing Thursday. “I think the court left a lot of room to run in terms of concealed weapons and guns near schools.” Brief: Pelosi is obviously still in a state of shock and or denial. Furthermore, her statement is curious given the recent history of gun control in Pelosi’s hometown of San Francisco. In 2005, San Francisco voters passed Measure H, which would have forbidden residents from owning hand guns. If H had been implemented, only law-abiding residents would have been disarmed, because criminals would simply ignore the law. That, by definition, is what criminals do! Common sense eventually prevailed in this case as well, as the California Supreme Court ruled unanimously against Measure H, thereby aborting this foolish bit of chicanery by liberal troublemakers. Bottom Line: Liberals like Nancy Pelosi must be forced to accept that gun ownership is a basic tenet of American democracy, and is among the most cherished freedoms and liberties enjoyed by American citizens. Madam Speaker, unlike the fabricated, non-existent right to have an abortion, the right to bear arms is specifically identified in the Bill of Rights, second only to free speech as a fundamental of American democracy. That is the case, whether you like it or not. Do not even attempt to deny or tamper with the second Amendment rights of American patriots! And by the way, Happy Independence Day!
Satire By John W. Lillpop For those who believe that America is in a state of steep moral decline, the latest phenomenon known as “Pregnancy Pacts” will do little to restore waning confidence in the innate superiority of American culture. Thanks to the pioneering spirit of seventeen teenage girls in Massachusetts, Pregnancy Pacts are poised to usurp cable television as the preferred source of summer entertainment for teenage girls with too much time on their hands– and other body parts as well. For those unfamiliar with the term, Pregnancy Pacts refers to an accord between a group of like minded, unmarried teenage girls who agree to become pregnant in order to share the pain and glory of pregnancy, delivery, and raising of new born infants. This sort of bonding used to take place in traditional families as an integral part of the marriage rituals between one man and one woman. However, with the advent of non-traditional unions in Massachusetts, mom and dad families are “old school,” definitely “not cool,” at least not in some high schools. Because this shocking news originates in the only state in the union that is even close to being as liberal as California, I decided to interview Speaker Nancy Pelosi to get her views and feelings on this extraordinary development. I caught up with Speaker Pelosi at an abortion cell on Alcatraz Island where she was donating blood for an unwed girl who was about to undergo an abortion. John: Greetings, Speaker Pelosi! Great to see you again, especially in such a positive and rewarding role as donating blood. Speaker Pelosi: Thank you, John. I believe that giving blood is a great way to help save an innocent life and that is my passion! John: But is that not somewhat contradictory, Madam Speaker? After all, your blood will sustain the mother during the willful termination of an innocent fetus. Does that not bother you at all? Speaker Pelosi: Damn it, John! I was referring to the innocent life of the mother! Please, vacate all the insane hyperventilating about unborn fetuses! The damn things are nothing more than a few blobs of undeveloped flesh. Remember, that every fetus is the private property of the woman involved–it is in the Constitution! Besides, most fetuses are butt ugly and have damn little value except to right wing goof balls that could care less about the precious little darlings once they come bouncing out of the womb! John: I understand your position very well, and apologize for bringing up an issue settled long ago. I would, however, like to get your reaction to the latest social fad– so-called pregnancy pacts between groups of teenage girls. Speaker Pelosi: Well, as you can imagine, I am very concerned about this. But at the outset let me say that I am encouraged by the fact that these young girls are not campaigning for John McCain or pulling some other outrageous stunts that will only harm the Democrat Party in November. Truth is, I would prefer to see these gals pregnant and bare-footed, rather than in the clutches of old white Republican vipers like John McCain. Besides, we can always abort unwanted brats– reversing the damage caused by old bastards like John McCain could be damn near impossible. John: That makes sense. But what has caused these pregnancy pacts to become “cool”? Speaker Pelosi: Well, to be perfectly honest, the Hillary Clinton spectacle over the past several months did not help at all. Hillary made a damn fool of herself and, in doing so, did irreparable damage to the self-esteem of millions of young girls. Some girls reacted by working harder at school, or joining the Obama campaign. Others, usually less educated kids from bitter rural families with handguns, have turned to pregnancy pacts to express their anger. John: So it is all Hillary’s fault? Speaker Pelosi: Not entirely. There are other root causes for this unhealthy fad. For example, George W. Bush’s evil and illegal war in Iraq war bears much of the blame. John: The war in Iraq? What in the world does that have to do with pregnancy pacts? Speaker Pelosi: Quite simple, really: If Bush had not shipped so many young men to Iraq, those men could be living in Massachusetts where they could fall in love with and marry young girls like those involved with these crazy pregnancy pacts. John: I still do not understand Madam Speaker. How do you know that any of those troops in Iraq would have married any young girl in Massachusetts? What is the basis for that argument? Speaker Pelosi: You know, John, you bore me. You bore me a lot! I have tried to explain this in the simplest terms possible. You are obviously suffering from a right-wing bias that makes it impossible to communicate with you. Besides, I have a life to save in less than 30 minutes. Please leave this cell immediately so that I can get back to donating blood for this brave teen girl who is sacrificing her own to help save the planet from overpopulation. Good night, John! John: Thank you, Speaker Pelosi.
By John W. Lillpop As soaring gasoline prices continue to wreak havoc among poor and near poor American families, presidential nominee Barack Obama has made headlines by telling the poor what he will not do to resolve the energy crisis. Specifically, as president, Obama would not: Advocate domestic drilling; Seek additional refining capacity; or Encourage development of nuclear power. Having ruled out all reasonable ideas for increasing supply, Obama seems obsessed with reducing demand, even though oil is the mother’s milk of America’s economy and fuels the way of life that Americans adore. So, what is a card-carrying Marxist to do when the well being of the unwashed masses conflicts with the socialist agenda of the Democrat Party when it comes to insects’ rights? Should government seek to lower gasoline prices at the expense of the cross-eyed gay mosquito, an endangered species found only in Alaska and off the coasts of California and Florida? Nuclear power might be plausible, but surely liberal-minded scientists can find a greener way to boil water? Installing more refining capacity is out because it would take at least five years to implement. By then, science will most likely have perfected the technology needed to convert conservative talk show commentary–ergo, hot air–into affordable home heating products and fuel pellets for compact imported cars. What to do, in the here and NOW? Especially since most of the folks suffering from high gasoline prices are die-hard Democrat voters? Perhaps Obama should lift a page from the play book of the last American president who actually took a pro-active step(s) on energy and gasoline prices? That would be one James Earl Carter, 39th president of the United States and the American politician most responsible for the Reagan Revolution. Immediately after being inaugurated on January 20, 1977 , President Carter and his wife Rosalynn jumped out of their limousine and walked down Pennsylvania Avenue from the Capitol to the White House. Mind you, Jimmy Carter was setting an example for the American people and the entire globe about the urgent need to conserve energy. After all, gasoline was all of $.65 a gallon as Carter and his family walked to the Oval Office, where the new president immediately exercised his awesome powers by mandating a non-negotiable schedule for the White House tennis courts. Unfortunately for America and western civilization, Carter’s stroll down Pennsylvania failed to prove anything, except that Jimmy was even more of a loon than Republicans had alleged. Still, Carter’s walk showed the unwashed masses that he was doing something. Since then, Americans have come to understand that sometimes something is worse than doing nothing at all, especially when Democrats are involved! Further proof of this truth came when President Carter created two new cabinet-level departments: the Department of Energy and the Department of Education, which dang near ruined energy and education in America. But back to 2008. Perhaps Barack Obama should sprint down Pennsylvania Avenue, in light of the fact that gasoline is nearly ten times more expensive than when Jimmy Carter rained on America’s parade in 1977? Lord knows that Obama should be fit enough to jog down Pennsylvania Avenue without even working up a sweat, especially after spending nearly two years running for office. Better still, Mr. Obama: For the sake of America, don’t do something, just stand there!
By John W. Lillpop Everyone in America with the exception of La Raza, the ACLU, George W. Bush, the Democrat Party, RINOs like John McCain, and Hispanic racists recognize that America must build a fence to protect our nation from economic, medical, educational,and cultural terrorism carried by illiterate peasants who invade the US from third world Mexico. Until now, the US government has pretty much ignored the law by pretending that environmental concerns were a greater priority. That mindless bit of malarkey has been brushed aside with dispatch now that the United States Supreme Court has denied another moronic appeal by environmental wackos intent on destroying America. Ruling against further delays to erection of the border fence, the Supreme Court has delivered the following message, loud and clear, And do it now, we might add! After all, the American public is FED UP with the invasion of our sovereign nation by third-world outlaws from Mexico. Even some Democrat politicians are finally getting the message: ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION MUST BE STOPPED NOW AND REVERSED! Politicians who care about America and their careers must face these facts: We are FED UP with the refusal of the federal government to secure our borders, opting instead to provide big business with slave labor in the form of illegals from Mexico. This reckless policy leaves our nation vulnerable to further terrorist attacks and we are FED UP with the endangerment of American lives for cheap fruit. We are FED UP with people who are here illegally and who can not and/or will not speak English. We are FED UP with illegals from Mexico who cost American taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars every year in health care, education, incarceration, and welfare. We are FED UP with taxpayer dollars being wasted to print documents in a foreign language (Spanish). We are FED UP with illegals who dump their medical bills on the backs of US taxpayers and who still send $30-40 billion a year back to Mexico each year. We are FED UP with our schools being invaded by non-English speaking children from Mexico who impede the learning process of students who genuinely belong here. We are FED UP with the fact that federal, state and local penal systems are overrun by illegals from Mexico, again costing US taxpayers billions each year. We are FED UP with the fact that the majority of crimes being investigated in Los Angeles have been committed by illegals from Mexico. We are FED UP with elected officials who refuse to enforce our borders and immigration laws. First and foremost, that includes George W Bush! We are FED UP with federal, state and local agencies that refuse to round up and deport millions of illegals who are destroying American culture and language. We are FED UP with politicians, both Hispanic and non-Hispanic, who coddle illegals with drivers licenses, lower college tuition and similar benefits which only encourage more people to invade the US from Mexico. We are FED UP with politicians—again, including first and foremost, GW Bush—who pander to thieves like Felipe Calderon who seek to dump Mexico’s poor and illiterate on the backs of US taxpayers. We are FED UP with the attempted Mexicanization of America. Mexico is a third- world slum and we are FED UP with those who want America to be like Mexico! Politicians–Democrat and Republican alike—who fail to heed the anger of the people concerning this issue will soon find themselves “former elected” officials. We will not allow outlaws from Mexico to ruin this great nation! MR. BUSH, BUILD THAT FENCE
As the world mourns the death of the most notorious potty mouth of the past two centuries, it might be educational to hear the Eulogy of George Carlin in his own words. I rather suppose such a eulogy would be rated PG and might read something like this: Dear Ladies, Gentlemen: We are gathered here today to pay respects and say our final good byes to George Carlin, one funny “m###########.” George taught us to laugh, he taught us to cry, and he taught us how to “p###” into the wind without giving a “s###” about who might get wet. George taught our sons that there is more to life than a “c###” with big “t###.” Now it is time to return George to the Lord for final disposition. Take this “C#########” home, Lord, and may his final words live forever: “F###” the FCC! Amen and be blessed |
