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Egad! In their worse nightmares, John McCain and the Republican Party could not have imagined the doomsday scenario being played out at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The current resident, a lame duck hawk, was given a six-month “Notice to Vacate” on Sunday, which means that he will not be around to muck up the works next January 20. Although his days as the most powerful man in the world are quickly dwindling, George W. Bush is still driving hard for a legacy. His pursuit may end up costing John McCain the presidency. W’s backsliding began when his administration decided to Obamacize the Iran issue, which means that Bush flip-flopped by agreeing to meet with the terrorist state sans any preconditions. Strike one! Next up, time lines, the Holy Grail of the Bush war policy in Iraq. On this one, conservatives thought there was no way W would cave in. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at McCain headquarters when it became known that W decided that a “Time Horizon” might work in Iraq. Never mind that no one, least of all George W. Bush, knows what the hell “Time Horizon” means. The point is that once again Bush pulled the rug out from under the presumptive Republican nominee, leaving John McCain with Obamamania on his face. Strike two! What next? A Bush endorsement of Obama? That may sound ludicrous, but legacy trolling is a brutal game especially when the legacy seeker is a dyslexic lame duck whose conservative credentials have always been suspect to begin with!
Satire By John W. Lillpop Just what is it with Op-Ed editor David Shipley at the New York Times? How can an objective editor at a major metropolitan newspaper reject an Op-Ed submitted by the presumptive presidential nominee of the Republican Party? Especially since the NYT recently published a piece by McCain’s Democrat opponent? Where in the hell is appropriate respect for the “Fairness Doctrine,” Mr. Shipley? By the grace of God, we were able to hack into Shipley’s “Rejected” file on his laptop and uncover his critical notes backing up the McCain turn down. The Shipley notes: Memo to File: Reviewed and rejected John McCain’s editorial titled, ‘My Plan for Iraq’ based on the following professional objections: 1. Plagiarism. Although we have not yet located the exact speech, it is obvious that McCain has simply found an old George W. Bush, cleaned up the mangled grammar, and claimed the words and ideas as his own. Besides being unethical, McCain’s “speech” is more of the same old tired Bush prattle that got the US into the quagmire in Iraq. 2. Consistency: Unlike Senator Obama, McCain reiterates the same position on Iraq throughout his Op-Ed. No flip-flops are bad form, dull. Shows lack of imagination, and is clearly a racist attempt to put down the next president of the United States. 3. Too pro-American, sugarcoated, patriotic. Needs to appeal to all NYT editors and readers, most of who hate America and want Islamofascists to win the WOT. 4. Time lines missing. Need firm time lines showing absolute withdrawal of US troops within sixteen months, max. Without timelines, zero credibility. 5. Fails to mention that George W. Bush is an incompetent fool. As Speaker Pelosi has so eloquently stated, W is a total failure. All Op-Eds must have at least two zingers bitchslapping W, the most dangerous terrorist ever to occupy the planet. 6. Relies too heavily on warmongers like General David Petreaus for war strategy and plans. Needs input from anti-war intellectuals like Cindy Sheehan, Harry Reid, and John Murtha. Balance, balance, balance! And finally, 7. Critical of Barack Obama, presumptive 44th president of the United States. Smacks of racism and anti-black bigotry. DS Note to Secretary: Please e-mail rejection notice to McCain campaign including an invitation to resubmit this right wing diatribe if they so desire. Then please block McCain’s e-mail from making it into my inbox. Have all McCain e-mails deleted upon receipt and reported as spam. DS
Satire By John W. Lillpop Barack Obama seems to have set the world on fire with his brilliant intelligence, captivating charm, inspiring oratory, and charisma. By sheer coincidence (?), Obama seems to possess many of the traits attributed to the anti-Christ by those who research and analyze such things. In particular, the following attributes, culled from a non-political source *, seem to match Obama quite well. (Attributes listed on the site that do not seem to match Obama are not shown below.) Note: The site referenced does NOT state or infer that Obama is the anti-Christ, nor does it imply that the senator might devolve into said rascal at some future date. In fact, Obama’s name is not even mentioned. Still, the match is striking. According to the referenced site, the anti-Christ will among other things: Rise from a sub-national leadership position Community coordinator in Illinois? Have powerful supporters helping him rise to power Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffet, George Soros, Bill and Hillary Clinton, most members of the Kennedy clan, and approximately 99 percent of the African American population stand behind Obama. A most powerful team! Obama is even more: He is clean and articulate! Be generally different or unique amongst politicians His racial profile makes this a perfect match. Be a great unifier who appeals to people across traditional lines Even some conservatives are buying into Obama’s act! Be a Christian, at least by appearances Notwithstanding Pastor Jeremiah Wright, Obama claims to be a Christian. Be preceded by an aggressive warmonger who will forcefully depose two Middle Eastern governments Even liberals with see the match with this one! Arise from a great nation with unrivaled wealth and power That just happens to be the good old United States of America, mates! Perhaps all of this IS sheer coincidence. Still, in my view, Obama bears careful watching, especially if he starts stamping 666 on the foreheads of adoring masses! ________________________
John W. Lillpop American citizens are generally aware of the fact that eating at McDonald’s can pose a serious risk to one’s health owing to the salt, fat, sugar, and carbohydrate content of food prepared there. But how many Americans realize that dining under the Golden Arches might also expose one to ID theft and financial ruin? That may sound far-fetched, until one considers the news coming out of a Las Vegas courtroom recently. Two executives and the corporate owner of 11 northern Nevada McDonald’s restaurants pleaded guilty to felony immigration charges and agreed to pay $1 million in fines. Company directors Joe Gillespie of Sparks and former vice president Jimmy Moore allegedly hired illegal aliens to flip Big Macs and scoop out greasy, salt-laden French fires. That crime was bad enough, but Gillespie and Moore went the extra mile by providing invading criminals with false identities and social security numbers belonging to Americans! FOX: In addition to the fact that Gillespie and Moore are now convicted felons and McDonald’s checking account is a cool $1,000,000.00 lighter, there is more good news: Most of the illegal aliens have been kicked out of America, sent home to their third world nations of origin! This bizarre episode simply begs for a new McDonald’s motto: How about, “Try a Spicy McDonald’s Taco, With Extra Salsa–to Go!”
Anyone who loves dogs and dog people comes away from “Greatest American Dog” depressed and angry.This sad piece of television-decline has no heart, no waramth, witchy female judges, obviously trying to out nasty each other, beating on a women with a non-purebread dog who likes to dress it up. To best describe last nights idiot shrew of a judge one has only a single question– “How many ways can you spell C-r-a-z-y?” If that is animal abuse witch-judge look at one of the fastest growing industries in the world, clothing for pets. Last night’s show was Dog Owner abuse. Shame on CBS for giving “Greatest Awful Dogshow” air time when we care so much about our beloved pets we’d tune in to almost anything this side of the Michael Vick Thursday Night fight. Dog Lovers can still find “Happy” on Animal Planet and People Loves on the recently revamped “Ellen” show. Keep that TV remove finger warm, unless retooled this show with so much potential has the shelf of cottage cheese.
By John W. Lillpop Public figures who engage in politically incorrect speech involving race are usually condemned as bigoted, anti-American racists, or worse. Take the case of radio satirist Don Imus. A little more than a year ago, the I-Man ran afoul of the PC language police by referring to black women who play basketball for Rutgers as “nappy headed hos.” For this harmless sin, Imus was banished from the airwaves and denied his livelihood for six full months. Reverend Al Sharpton was among those who goaded Imus’ employers into throwing the famous and talented cowboy-comic under the bus. In 2006, Virginia Senator George Allen (R-VA) sought reelection and seemed a good bet to succeed until his use of the “macaca” word reverberated throughout the wild world of political correctness. . Naturally, Allen was universally vilified, ostracized, and cursed far and wide for being a bigoted racist. The pummeling of Senator Allen was most curious since nobody, including Senator Allen, had the vaguest notion what “macaca” meant. However, George Allen was a white Republican, and often that is more than enough justification to “cut his nuts off,” to paraphrase a black luminary who has been in the news a lot lately. Speaking of which, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, alleged spiritual leader of black folk worldwide, has made headlines again: FOX is reporting that, in addition to threatening Barack Obama’s manhood with a dull switchblade knife, Reverend Jackson dropped an “N” bomb on the inexperienced Marxist Jihadist from Illinois. And what was the reaction from Reverend Al Sharpton? A clarion call to shut down New York City? A demand that Reverend Jackson resign as leader of the Rainbow Coalition and live in abject poverty until called home by Satan? None of the above! Saying he was “very disappointed” with Reverend Jackson, Sharpton proceeded to sugar coat Jackson’s racist tirade by stating, “I think this certainly does not reflect the Reverend Jackson that we all know and love.” WCBS http://wcbstv.com/local/sharpton.jackson.nword.2.773359.html Which leads to the Big Question: Just how offensive is the “N” word? The answer: It all depends on your race and political affiliation!
July 17, 2008 The World Court The Hague, Netherlands Gentlemen of the Court: We are in receipt of your ruling dated July 16, 2008, in which your deliberative body has “ordered” the United States to stay the execution of five brutal killers from Mexico until their dossiers can be reviewed. With all due respect, gentlemen, no authority on this planet is entitled to “order” the United States, or any of the several states, to do anything. Unlike the limp-wrist wusses that have all but destroyed Europe, we Americans believe in the rule of law, the death penalty, and justice for vermin like Jose Medellin who is scheduled to vacate planet Earth on August 5, 2008. Mr. Medellin is the sub-human thug who took part in the gang rape and murder of two teenage girls 15 years ago. Over the past fifteen years, his case has been reviewed and appealed several times. US President George W. Bush mistakenly ordered the State of Texas to review Medellin’s case, following the World Court ruling of 2004. This issue made it all the way to the he United States Supreme Court, where the final court of authority in these great United States overruled the president, clearing the way for the execution on August 5. No further review, appeal, or stalling will be tolerated. Jose Medellin will be put to death by lethal injection, a procedure that involves approximately the same pain as one suffers when getting a flu shot. Many American believe that Medellin should suffer at least slightly for the brutal disregard he had for the dignity and lives of those young girls fifteen years ago. But, alas, liberalism has reared its ugly head stateside, and we are prohibited from allowing full justice to be exacted. Because of humanitarian concerns, I have made a slight concession with regard to Jose Medellin. Specifically, I have written President Bush and Texas Governor Perry and have “ordered” them to return Medellin’s remains to Mexico for further review. There will be a nominal-handling fee collected from the authorities in Mexico before Medellin’s remains are released. As always, we appreciate the input of the World Court on these matters. Your rulings are rich fodder for late-night comedians here. Sincerely, John W Lillpop Ordinary American Citizen
By John W. Lillpop If inflammatory, anti-American rhetoric is any indication, Barack Obama appears to have issued a Fatwa against English-speaking, law abiding American citizens and their institutions. Speaking at a “Trolling for Hispanic Votes” event at La Raza, the charismatic Democrat took on the Immigration Control and Enforcement (ICE) agency, essentially accusing ICE agents and other law enforcement authorities of being domestic terrorists. http://lonewacko.com/blog/archives/007820.html This on the heels of a tirade in which Obama berated Americans for not being more bilingual. Forget that Obama himself is an English only dude: Pay heed to what this arrogant fascist says, not what he does! In addition, the closet Jihadist admonished American citizens to be sure that their children could speak Spanish, after chiding those folks for being too partial to English. So while the charismatic Obama continues to campaign under the banner of CHANGE, he seems manacled to old school “wedge” politics. Were he a true patriot, Obama could provide a far greater service to America and its citizens by pressuring Hispanic parents to teach their children the following essential truths about America: * America is a sovereign nation, completely independent of Mexico. It has been that way for more than 200 years, and we intend to keep it that way. * In 1848, The Treaty of Guadeloupe Hidalgo was ratified by both the United States and Mexican congresses. That Treaty satisfied any and all claims Mexico had to land now part of the United States. * Native Indians were the original landowners of what is now the Southwestern United States. Any valid “chain of title” belongs to Native American Indians, not Mexicans. * Brown may be beautiful in Latin America. But in the United States, we are partial to colors that symbolize freedom under the rule of law. That would be Red, White and Blue. * In America, Mexico is a foreign nation and Spanish is a foreign language. * Being hard working and good hearted is commendable, but those qualities do not entitle anyone to enter the United States illegally. * Speaking two or more languages is fine– provided one of the languages is English. Literacy in Spanish but not English is not acceptable. * Celebrating ones cultural heritage is perfectly fine–provided it does not interfere with assimilation into American culture. * U.S. immigration laws exist to protect American citizens & others here legally, not to facilitate a foreigner’s pursuit of a better life, and * Those who come to America must adjust to our culture and traditions. We have no obligation or desire to change our way of living to accommodate foreign newcomers. Now that is the message that Barack Obama should be delivering to Hispanic families! |
